I have been avoiding blogging about my site, MISSSEY, but I cannot do that any longer because (1) sites are (as I am finding out) a significant part of BAyUP, at least on Mondays through Fridays and (2) I spent a lot of time thinking about it this past week!
Since we started interning at MISSSEY, I have done random clerical tasks—calling volunteers, entering data from one database into another, mailing letters, and faxing forms. I’m going to be whiney and a youngest child and say that all of these tasks have been as boring as they sound, and I spent a lot of time wishing I could do direct services or, at least interact more with staff, or actually, interact with anybody or do something that feels more purposeful and less like busy work. This summer, I was really looking forward to building relationships and getting to know people in this community, and I was disappointed to see how that wasn’t happening at my site.
I think that is why I really love when I get to play with kids in the neighborhood. (btw sarah- I think those dodgeball tournaments have helped me so much because when we played this week, I was better than all of the kids there! They were only 10 years old, but still, I felt so great about myself afterwards.) Also, look! This is a cute note that little Edgar from downstairs taped to our door!
Anyway, sometimes at MISSSEY, I am annoyed and frustrated that I don’t get to do work I enjoy, or that I don’t get to have cool and inspiring—or even sad—interactions with clients like other BAyUP-ers. Sometimes I am hopeful that things will change, or I will change, or at least it will build character and I will learn how to whine less. And then I begin to question whether I’m actually that hopeful or just faking optimism because it sounds like what I’m supposed to be thinking. And then I decide that I need to be more real and admit how disappointed I am.
I am still wondering what I can learn from this, or if I’m even thinking about this stuff in the right way, and I haven’t had any crazy and insightful answers yet. I end up thinking a lot about how I can be very honest with myself while still being open to what God wants to do. I am still doing that riiight nowwwww.
- We finished all of our Wheaties L Nobody knows exactly how many we started with but we think it was at least 20 boxes in two weeks! Gross huh
- I have run out of ideas for what to make for dinner. Turns out the only thing I know how to make is roasted vegetables!
- Harry potter!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t know what else to say but that has to go somewhere in this post
- A bird pooped on my bike’s bell
-ally, 7.16.11 11PM